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A Few Words On Honor
by
DurLlwyd - version 1.0
In the BDSM and D/s communities we hear the word honor used in
wide range of contexts. It is a buzzword that is used to claim status. It
is used as a lure to attract play partners. It is used in role play. It is a word with
wonderful and powerful imagery associated with it, and thus it is used
time and again. But, how often do we consider what it is that makes this
word sacred? How many of us have stopped to consider the costs that have been
paid to add such weight to a single word? How often do we show this word true reverence?
Nearly everyone would like to claim honor. I am no exception to that rule.
Or perhaps I should say, I would like to be deemed honorable by fair and
impartial critics. Although, being honest about it, I have to admit the cost of earning that title
terrifies me. I spent part of my life as a soldier and during that time I
came to understand what it is for a man act with honor. Watching such men, I came to believe that the term honor is rather like
the term hero - it is a title to be admired. But, it is a title that
generally comes with enormous cost and hardship.
At the risk of being presumptuous I would like to share something I penned
on honor. I do not claim to be a man worthy of judging such
things. However, I have put this before men who I do believe are fit to judge
and they suggest is may be of some worth. I am flattered by their kindness,
but in the end it is up to the reader to judge for themselves. What follows is
nothing more than one man's opinion.
Honor has been said to be adherence to a claimed and codified set of
behavior parameters.
Of course such simple statement belies the enormous ramifications of the
word. Honor is not about pride; it is about suffering. It is about the
tremendous cost and labor of representing ourselves accurately and
honestly. It is about the terrible damage we incur to remain consistent in
a world, which we cannot control. It is about risk and loss. Those who
understand cannot help but utter the word with some sense of shame
and sadness.
We only understand the weight of a promise when our desire to honor it has
passed. It is when beating our fists against a wall to blunt to the pain of
keeping a promise that we come to fully understand obligation. And it is
only when we watch a solider who is trembling with fear continue to walk
forward because he said he would, that we understand commitment. There is
no honor in keeping a promise that benefits us.
Enduring hardship is not honor. Those who do not understand will attempt
to claim honor on the basis of suffering and enduring alone. All men
suffer and all men do their best to endure. This is not honor. Honor is
only found when we have a choice not to suffer. It is found when one can
truly walk away and avoid pain or loss. It is the choice to accept loss
when one does not need to that brings honor. It is the choice to be
consistent and bear the price of that consistency when the net result is
our suffering.
The most treacherous will keep a few of their promises or offer some small
honesty about themselves in an attempt to feign honor. But the truth is
seen in the lack of consistency. False honor reveals itself in the gain
that it tries to conceal. Certainly honor brings gain, but it is gain that
is reflected in the caliber and commitment of honorable friends.
Honor cannot be shown by speaking of it. An honorable man will claim
honor. A dishonorable one will claim it as well. And a half-honorable man
only half lies when claiming honor. It is consistency and loss that must
stand witness to character. The greater the honor the greater the cost,
this is why honor is sacred.
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